marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
