we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
