don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
