I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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