I like to think it a success when the cops are called
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
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