Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
