I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
