all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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