addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Randomize
