just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
