Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
