Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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