awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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