My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
