i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
