Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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