hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
