did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize