If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
