I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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