Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Randomize
