I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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