I just threw up on my dentist
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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