well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
