I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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