I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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