hotel room ftw
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
