Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
