There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
