Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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