From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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