do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
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