I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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