moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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