maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
