Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
