I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
