haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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