You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
