11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize