just come out here and I will go home with you...
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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