One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Still dying that you shit outside
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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