I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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