I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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