i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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