He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
