the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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