Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
