I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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