Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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