ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
