Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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