but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
We are two peas in an std pod
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
