You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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