I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
