she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
