He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
