btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
