he shaved USA in his pubs
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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