I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
How does it feel to date your dad?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
