you turned your livingroom into a bong?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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