She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
