nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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